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该从哪里开始?我凝视着一张白纸,已经问过自己这个问题几十次。似乎我需要找到那个,唯一能让我进入写作并一举消除所有疑虑的句子——它是一把钥匙。今天,当我面对一个情况时,最初的迷茫已经过去了——“这真的发生在我身上吗?”——我的想象力以一种不断增长的恐惧的方式表现出来,我被同样的需要所淹没。找到能让我在今晚受邀来到的这个地方毫不颤抖地自由而坚定地说话的句子。

要找到那句话,我不必看得很远。它瞬间就出现了。在所有的暴力中,它就像一颗宝石那般耀眼,无可辩驳。六十年前,我在日记中写道:“我写作,为了给我的人民报仇。”它呼应了兰波的呐喊:“我永远属于劣等种族。”我当时22岁,大部分时间在省级学院和当地资产阶级的子女一起学习文学。我骄傲而天真地相信,写作,成为一名作家,是为了无产劳工、工厂工人和店主中最末等的一类人,为那些他们的举止、口音、缺乏教育而被轻视的人,以纠正社会不公与人们出生时的社会阶层有关。个人的胜利可以消除几个世纪的统治和贫困,这是学校已经凭借我的学业成功在我心中培养的幻想。我个人的成就怎么能弥补我所遭受的任何屈辱和冒犯呢?这不是我曾经问过自己的问题。对此我有几个借口。

在写作中,没有选择是不言而喻的。但是,那些作为移民、不再说父母语言的人,以及那些作为阶层叛逃者,不再使用完全相同的语言,用其他语言思考和表达自己的人,面临着额外的障碍。这是一个两难的局面。他们确实感到很难,甚至不可能用他们所掌握的主流语言写作。他们已经掌握了这种语言,并在文学作品中欣赏这种语言,欣赏任何与他们的起源世界有关的作品,即由描述日常生活、工作和社会地位的感觉和词汇组成的第一世界。一方面是他们用来给事物命名的语言,带有残忍和沉默,例如阿尔贝·加缪那篇非常优美的文章《在“是”与“否”之间》中,一位母亲和一个儿子之间的亲密交流。另一方面是受人钦佩的,内化的作品的典范,这些作品使第一个世界开放,他们为自己的提升而感到感激。他们有时甚至认为这里是他们真正的家园。对我来说这包括福楼拜、普鲁斯特和弗吉尼亚·伍尔夫。当我重新开始写作时,他们中没有一个对我有任何帮助。我必须打破“写得好”和漂亮的句子——正是我教我的学生们写的那种——来根除、展示和理解贯穿我内心的裂痕。我不由自主地想到的是一种表达愤怒和嘲笑,甚至粗俗的语言的喧嚣,一种过度的、反叛的语言,经常由被羞辱和被冒犯的人所使用,作为他们对别人的蔑视记忆的唯一反应,对羞愧和感到羞愧的唯一反应。”

“我被授予了最高的文学荣誉,它就像一盏明灯照耀着我在孤独和怀疑中进行的写作和个人研究。这光并不使我眼花缭乱。我不认为授予我的诺贝尔奖是个人的胜利。在某种意义上,我把它看作是一场集体的胜利,这既不是出于骄傲,也不是出于谦虚。我与那些以这样或那样的方式希望全人类享有更大的自由、平等和尊严的人一样感到自豪,而不论其性别、肤色和文化;与那些为子孙后代着想的人站在一起,保护一个因少数人的逐利而使所有人越来越不适合居住的地球。

如果我回顾二十岁时所作的为我的人民报仇的承诺,我不能说我是否已经实现了。正是来自这个承诺,来自我的祖先们,勤劳的男男女女,习惯了那些导致他们早逝的任务,我得到了足够的力量和愤怒,有了在文学中给他们一席之地的愿望和雄心。这群人的声音,从很早的时候就伴随着我,让我接触到其他世界和其他存在方式,包括反抗和想要改变它的方式,以便将我作为一个女人和一个社会叛逃者的声音铭刻在那个解放的空间里,那就是文学。”

But I do not confuse the political action of literary writing, subject to its reception by the reader, with the positions I feel compelled to take with respect to events, conflicts and ideas. I grew up as part of the post-war generation, following World War II, when writers and intellectuals positioned themselves in relation to French politics and became involved in social struggles as a matter of course. Today, it is impossible to say whether things would have turned out differently had they not spoken out and committed themselves. In today's world, where the multiplicity of information sources and the speed at which images flash past condition a form of indifference, to focus on one's art is a temptation. But, meanwhile, in Europe, an ideology of withdrawal and closure is on the rise, still concealed by the violence of an imperialist war waged by the dictator at the head of Russia, and steadily gaining ground in hitherto democratic countries. Founded on the exclusion of foreigners and immigrants, the abandonment of the economically weak, the surveillance of women's bodies, this ideology requires a duty of extreme vigilance, for me and all those for whom the value of a human being is always and everywhere the same.

If I look back on the promise made at twenty to avenge my people, I cannot say whether I have carried it out. It was from this promise, and from my forebears, hardworking men and women inured to tasks that caused them to die early, that I received enough strength and anger to have the desire and ambition to give them a place in literature, amid this ensemble of voices which, from very early on, accompanied me, giving me access to other worlds and other ways of being, including that of rebelling against and wanting to change it, in order to inscribe my voice as a woman and a social defector in what still presents itself as a space of emancipation, literature.

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