@nathaniel PARENTING / AUTHORITY RELATIONSHIPS
Yeah kids feel it when something underhand is happening or not being told things clearly,
And the authoritarian side of parents might give in to avoiding asking or avoiding because it's the 100th things and awkward about yet another thing...
It's a hard balance and all those words like trusting and loving and relationship are one's the system isn't exactly pumping out or even adults perfected with adults (but we have the authority part down I think near 100%!)
@nathaniel I hear you. Not sure what to say but I hear you and for many reasons family and population is a big consideration or even not worth it in many ways (I say this positively also as it's good to be sure of something if all things point to it)
e.g. Even something as simple as this as instead of asking "what are you having for dinner?" the question is asked to attempt to elicit a "yes" answer, so "are you having spaghetti for dinner?" and if the answer is no, then it is presented as a wound or an attack on an incorrect guess.
If information is freely presented about something novel and unknown the parental unit will respond with "oh, that's what i thought!" or something equivalent. All knowledge must be shown to be previously known to the subordinate to maintain the power dynamic. No open questions or discussions allowed.
Also, watch what you say because it can be used as ammo for "oh, c'mon. i was just teasing!"
So much discovery decades later digging into the origin formulation of "self."