Yes we have had 146 mass shootings this year, but have you considered how bad things would be WITHOUT all the thoughts and prayers? We would have:
-Super cancer.
-Spiders with chainsaw legs.
-Babies being born with full sets of adult teeth.
-Golden Retrievers going extinct.
-The same number of mass shootings but they were all done by Keanu Reeves, the celebrity we love and trust the most.
@lowqualityfacts - Spiders with Chainsaw Legs could patrol schools to keep shooters away.
@MrShoggoth @lowqualityfacts only if the guns are semi automatics, with high capacity magazines and at least 5.56 NATO… anything else would be communism.
@gpowerf @lowqualityfacts - There was this wonderful documentary film where this woman had her leg torn off by zombies. They replaced her leg with a semi-automatic rifle, so she could shoot the zombies with a kick, AND rapid-fire a buncha bullets straight down and jump really high into the air.
Now THAT’S the America I’m proud to live in!
@MrShoggoth @lowqualityfacts the Statue of Liberty is a loser’s monument made by cheese-eating surrender monkeys. This is what freedom is all about! This should be the new statue to represent American values.
@gpowerf @lowqualityfacts - God bless you! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🥲
@MrShoggoth @lowqualityfacts just for kicks I asked Bing to do a parody of Donald Trump talking about replacing the Statue of Liberty and this was the output:
"My fellow Americans, I have a very important announcement to make. You know, the statue of liberty is a very old and ugly piece of metal. It's been there for too long, and it's not doing anything for us. It's not making us great. It's not making us safe. It's not making us rich. It's just standing there, holding a torch that nobody can see.
We need to replace it with something better. Something bigger. Something more beautiful. Something that reflects our greatness and our power. Something that says to the world: Don't mess with us. We are the best.
That's why I have decided to build a new statue of liberty. A statue of me. A statue of Donald Trump. It will be the biggest and the best statue ever made. It will be made of gold and diamonds and platinum. It will have a huge red tie and a magnificent hairdo. It will have a big smile and a big thumb up. And it will have a big sign that says: Make America Great Again."
I'm not making this up! It wrote that!
